


Just For The Bants

by ChaiYan



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Voldemort, BAMF Percy Weasley, Dare, Fluff and Humor, Humor, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Truth or Dare
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:28:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25433140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChaiYan/pseuds/ChaiYan
Summary: During their sixth year, Oliver has an idea for a bet with Percy that he will sure the other will refuse, but Percy doesn't give up easily. Five days, five dares each, and a hope that neither of them will be expelled. Or die a horrific death. What could possibly go wrong?
Relationships: Percy Weasley/Oliver Wood
Comments: 5
Kudos: 77





	1. The Evening Before

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I know I have 3 chapters of The Two Triangles to finish, and like six other works (all but one being a series) but I didn't want to wait. This will be not a priority to update, but I should be finished fairly quickly considering the chapters will be rather short.

Oliver was tall. He was so tall in fact, that his whole body stretched over the width of his bed. So far that whilst his feet were firmly planted on the floor, four fingertips on his right hand could reach the floor on the other side. His left hand, in contrast, managed all five. Why in Merlin’s name did he discover this? Well, Oliver tends to do the strangest things when he was bored out of his mind. His boyfriend, Percy, wasn’t talking to him at the minute. It wasn’t because Percy was angry at him or anything...He was just studying, and Oliver had known Percy long enough to know that whenever a peaceful Percy was disturbed, an infuriated Weasley tantrum was to follow.

At this moment, he really couldn’t care less “Percy.” No answer “ _ Percy. _ ” Still no answer “Percy-y-y...val!”

“What?” Percy snapped “I am trying to read something and I keep losing my place.” He turned around, his scowl softening with sympathy as he stared forlornly at Oliver “Are you okay?”

“No.” Oliver huffed, sitting up and looking at him. “I’m bored as fuck.” He promptly flounced off the bed and wandered over to Percy. His arms slid round Percy’s neck as he kissed Percy's neck.

“The last thing I want to interrupt my study is my horny boyfriend looking for a shag. It’s not happening, Oliver.” Percy grimaced as Oliver started to sloppy, wet kisses along his collarbone and lower neck “Ugh, stop. The answer is no, Wood.”

Oliver drew back, still hugging him “Fine.” He suddenly stopped as an idea implanted itself into his head “Wait.”

“What?” Oliver planted a big kiss on his cheek and his face broke into a wide smile. “ _ What? _ ” Percy demanded, folding his arms as he frowned up at him.

“I’ve got an idea.”

“Wow, I didn’t realise.” Percy replied, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

“I will leave you alone to read and study and do all your boring school stuff--”

“It’s  _ not  _ boring!”

“Whatever. I’ll leave you to do all that, and buy you that big, nice book you were looking at in Hogsmeade last week, if you can beat me in a bet.” Percy stopped, his mouth hanging open as if he was about to protest, which he was. As soon as he had heard the mention of the book, he did actually hesitate.  _ I mean,  _ Percy thought to himself,  _ how bad could it be? _ “If I win…” Percy sighed, his eyes dancing down to his open book again, for he had forgotten that there would be consequences “You have to give me a lap dance.”

Percy looked up in horror, spluttering in surprise “I think  _ not! _ ” He exclaimed, slamming his book shut. His eyes were wide and white, like two saucers. Even better, his face flushed a deep crimson shade, particularly on the lobes and tips of his ears. “Oliver. That’s completely--”

“Plus, I get to shag you afterwards.”

Percy’s face resembled a strawberry, and Oliver could almost see the smoke billowing out of the redhead’s ears “Oliver--”

“ _ Percy! _ ”

“You are impossible.”

“Come on, you love it anyway. It’s a win-win situation for you. You either get a nice book and peace and quiet or grade-A sex by your boyfriend…” Oliver’s smile widened as Percy noticed the mischievous glint in his dark pupils “Who you love...very...very...much... unless…”

Percy rolled his eyes “Unless, what?”

“You don’t love me?”

“Oliver, stop guilt tripping me, you toxic bastard.” Percy murmured under his breath. Something about the suggestion did seem to entice Percy’s competitive side, and he couldn’t help but feel the slighest bit curious. With a sigh, he glared in Oliver’s direction “What is this bet anyway?”

Oliver felt a pang of glee as he flounced over to his bed again, sitting down and smirking at Percy “We have five days. Every day, starting with tomorrow, we have to give the other a dare. For each day, the dares get harder.”

“So day five is a dare that could get us kicked out the school?”

“Well, if we are found out, then...possibly.”

“I am  _ not, _ ” Percy pouted as if he was chewing on a wasp, “having my chances of being Head Boy, and chances of working in the Ministry, taken away in a blink because of a stupid dare!”

“That is  _ why… _ ” Oliver continued “The last day we are going to not get caught… or try not, anyway.”

“But is a  _ book  _ really worth possibly getting expelled?”

“Yes.”

“Well, a shag  _ definitely  _ isn’t worth getting expelled. Yes! Even one of your shags isn’t worth my dreams crashing down because you want me to give Dumbledore a jelly legs hex in the middle of supper.” Percy gritted his teeth, looking at Oliver, searching for an inch of sympathy to help him. His gaze floated down to the floor, still contemplating for a decision. It really pained him to finally utter “Fine, let’s do it…” under his breath, and even watch as Oliver pumped his balled fists in the air with victory. “Tomorrow morning, we will start. This had better not ruin my life.”

“It won’t, I promise you.”

“You don’t know that for sure.” Percy replied with a huff “I am about to possibly break numerous school rules, just so I will either get a book or give a lap dance.”

“I know and  _ thank you _ , Percy!” Oliver cried out happily “Best be warned though,”

“What?” Percy groaned, his voice low-pitching and aggressive, as if he wanted to murder Oliver with just his glares.

“If I were you, I wouldn’t bother waiting the full five days to give up. You could just save yourself the time, take your clothes off and come into my bed right n--” Oliver never did finish that sentence, because Percy had stood up and whacked him over the head with his (thankfully) thin textbook.


	2. Day One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's only the first day of dares - surely it can't be that difficult?

“Percy.” 

The Head Boy grunted and turned onto his other side, burying himself beneath the warm covers.

“Percy.”

There was no response.

Oliver sighed, creeping round to the other side of the bed, kneeling down. He winced at the sound of joints clicking in his knees as he edged towards Percy’s ear. He kept his lips clamped together as a chuckle was trying to push its way through. He sucked in breath sharply.

“PERCY - GET UP!” He screamed as loud as he could. Percy’s sea-green eyes shot open as he flinched, jolting towards the other end of the bed, shrieking in surprise. As his vision wavered and focused on Oliver, who was sitting on the edge and snorting with laughter, his expression morphed from shock to fury. 

Percy clenched his teeth, face drained from colour “OLIVER,” He exclaimed in a low voice “That was  _ awful _ . Now,  _ why  _ in Merlin’s name did you do that?” Letting his head fall back against his pillows, he let out a sigh.

“To wake you up.”

“You don’t  _ scream  _ at someone to wake them up!”

“It worked, didn’t it?” Oliver cocked his head to the side, the wide grin engraved onto his face. He was quite enjoying seeing Percy all annoyed and flustered, especially with his post-sleeping bed head “Come on, get up, lazy bones.”

Percy huffed “I am able to get up on my own accord.”

“I know, but seeing as it is the first day of our fun, I wanted to do something special for my-” Oliver clambered over the bed to Percy, grabbing the squabbling boy’s chin and planting a slobbery kiss in the crook of his neck “Little Cupcake.”

Percy brought his arm over, gritting his teeth at the tiny sting in his elbow and underarm, shoving Oliver away from him “Get off me, you ape.” Oliver snorted, leaning back in and kissing him on the lips instead.Oliver then brandished a small cream envelope, complete with a wine-red seal, and pushed it into Percy’s hands “Oliver, what is this?” He sighed, feeling already too tired to deal with his boyfriend’s antics.

“Your first task of the day.”Oliver beamed.

Percy rolled his eyes, fumbling to his side as he reached for his glasses, huffing again as Oliver reached over and snatched them. As Oliver slid them onto his nose, he peered at the envelope. Oliver watched as Percy’s eyes scanned the sharp rim of the envelope, down to the wavy-edged wax seal on the back, and turned it over to where Oliver had scrawled SWEET LITTLE PERCIVAL in...Percy’s nicest quill. It was about time Percy started hiding his things from Oliver; One day, a couple of toffees were snatched from his bedside drawer; the next week, Percy couldn’t find his Potions textbook (eventually he found out that Oliver had left his own textbook in the classroom, and had taken Percy’s); Oh, and Percy could not forget to mention how Oliver had taken Percy’s towel whilst he was in the shower, because he thought that Percy had left it in there. Percy suspected after this incident that it was a joke, but he especially  _ did not  _ find it as amusing as Oliver when he stepped out into their bedroom, furious, wet and  _ naked  _ (He did not speak to Oliver for  _ days  _ after that). But, it was clear from the smudges that Oliver had also stolen from his expensive pot of black ink.

He slid his thumbnail under the envelope edge, lifting it slightly to not rip the seal off the card, and opened it. There was a piece of white paper inside, folded four-fold, but Percy could still see the bold handwriting on the lines. As he dropped the envelope into his lap and slid out the paper, he looked at Oliver, narrowing his eyes suspiciously. Eventually, he unfolded the note, face contorting into a frown as he read what was written.

His face went white, then his teeth were clenched, and his hands shook, gripping the paper as if he wanted to tear it to shreds. “Are you  _ joking,  _ Oliver?” Percy shoved his shoulder, glaring at him “Are you having a  _ joke?” _

\-----------------------------------------

Percy stormed through the Common Room, his long black cloak billowing out behind him like a demon, making a beeline for the entrance. Oliver stumbled after him, rushing to catch up with his boyfriend, who wore a dark scowl on his face. They swept through the room, turning a couple of confused second-years’ heads. As Oliver chased him down, Percy’s head whipped around, glaring at him.

“Leave me alone!” Percy protested, looking at Oliver as he slowed down.

“Percy,  _ please _ . It is not that bad of a dare.”

“He will  _ know  _ it’s me…” Percy folded his arms, diverting his eyes from Oliver. He was afraid that if he had to look at Oliver for another second, he would punch him. In the balls.

“He won’t--”

“Yes, he  _ will. _ ” Percy cut back “And if he isn’t stupid enough to know, then someone else on the table  _ will  _ know.Oliver, the first day was meant to be the easiest dare!”

“You do realise-” Oliver sighed “That you have yet to decide my dare. If you’re angry about your dare, you have all the opportunity to get back at me.”

“That’s true…”

“Okay,” They wandered until they approached the staircases “So what will mine be?”

“I haven’t deci- Wait a second-” Percy halted as he looked over the stairwell to where the drop was at least a hundred feet. He gazed back at Oliver who stood there, his eyebrows furrowed, wondering what Percy was planning. The stairways were already beginning to fill up with a sea of students, exhausted and hungry, on their way to the Great Hall for breakfast. “I know what you should do...if you plan on humiliating me in breakfast.”

“I would hardly call it a humiliation-”

“Well,  _ I  _ would.” Percy huffed, wandering back over to Oliver.

“Well-”

“Do you want me to tell you what you are going to do?”

“Fine, go ahead.” Oliver folded his arms, a frown appearing on his face despite Percy’s wide smiles.

“You,” Percy simpered, pointing towards the staircase that connected the floor they were currently on and the one below “Are going to slide down this banister.” Oliver blinked. He blinked again. Slowly, he walked over to the stairwell, his eyes flashing as he saw how big the drop to the ground floor was. He looked back over his shoulder at Percy. He blinked.

“Have you gone out of your mind, Perce?” He exclaimed, pointing over the stairwell as if Percy hadn’t noted it moments ago “Are ye fucking crazy?”

Percy swallowed at Oliver’s sudden anger “I am not.”

“How on God’s green Earth do ya expect to do that?”

“Have you never slid down a banister before? I suppose I never have slid down one before, but I would have expected  _ you  _ to jump at the opportunity.”

Oliver scoffed, his nose wrinkling slightly “This is an opportunity to break my neck, Weasley.”

“Okay,  _ Wood _ . All you have to do is fall into the stairs rather than over the drop. Easy.”

“If it’s so easy, why don’t you do it?”

“Because,” Percy huffed, striding over to him. He rummaged in his pocket, sniffing as his fingers made contact with the crumpled piece of paper, bringing it out of his robes and holding it millimetres away from Oliver’s face. “ _ I already have my dare! _ ” He scolded through gritted teeth.

“That’s nowhere near as bad as possibly dying!”

“I possibly will die! What if Marcus finds out that it’s me who did it and attacks me during one of my nighttime rounds near the dungeons. Even you know that he could snap me in half without breaking a sweat!” Percy retorted “Over you go, Wood.” He simpered with a smug smile.

“What if it moves whilst I am on it?” Oliver interrogated, perching on the edge of the banister, trying not to look downwards at the great height. “What if I actually do fall off it?” He had noticed that there were a couple clusters of students who were milling around near them, watching and whispering.

“I’ll catch you, don’t worry.” Percy replied, promptly walking down the staircase until he reached the bottom. He turned around and took out his wand “It’s alright if you’re scared, Oliver!” He called, breaking into laughter. 

“Shut  _ up,  _ Percy!” Oliver yelled back, glancing down one final time. He sucked in breath, clenching his fists on the edge of the banister. He was  _ so  _ going to kill Percy for this...that is...if he didn’t die on the way down to do so.

“Did you just tell our brother to shut up?” A voice cut into his thoughts, snarky and hostile. Oliver looked over his shoulder to where he saw Fred and George standing, leaning against the wall, watching him.

“Only we can tell him to shut up-” George continued.

“It doesn’t matter if we need to every five minutes-”

“Or every five seconds at home-”

“Only we are allowed to-”

“Not you-”

“Just us-”

“And me.” Oliver heard the thump of more footsteps. He sighed when he noticed that Ron and Harry and Hermione and Ginny had emerged out of the corridor leading from the Gryffindor common room.

“And me, of course...Oh, and Charlie and Bill. “ Ginny added. Her eyes flickered between Oliver at the top of the stairs and Percy at the bottom. “What are you doing anyway? That’s going to move soon-”

“Yes, I  _ know,  _ which is why I would like to do this sooner than later…” Oliver shrugged “I can’t really explain what it’s for, but let’s just say it is a life or death situation. For both Percy and I…” 

“Can we join-” Fred started.

“No!” Oliver answered before Hermione also interrupted.

“That’s really dangerous, you know...I don’t think you should be doing that…” She grimaced, her brown eyes twitching a little “You will get in heaps of trouble if you get caught by one of the teachers.”

“ _ Thanks _ , Hermione. Like I said - I really must be off... Oh, and I won’t be able to get in heaps of trouble if I fall to my death, will I?”

“I guess not.” She could feel the faint traces of a smile, but wore a disapproving frown instead.

“Are you going?” Percy shouted up, alerting some of the Ravenclaw students who were walking up from the floor below.

“U-Uh, yeah!” Oliver replied. His chest ached and his heart was thumping rapidly as he turned back towards Percy, keeping his gaze fixed on him. Within the next second, his whole body was sliding down the banister with a tremendous speed, trying to lean into the stairs in case they suddenly decided to change. His mouth was open, wailing with terror as he reached the bottom of the staircase. Jolting side to side as he reached Percy, his balance began to collapse especially as his behind slumped against the flatness as opposed to a steep diagonal railing. He shut his eyes, descending into darkness with a small ray of hope that Percy would catch him to stop him from crashing off the banister and into the wall. A second later, he collided with something, toppling off the banister and landing on something rather squishy, but small and slender. It was very comfortable being on top of it, whatever it was. Then, he heard a furious squawk.

Oliver gradually opened his eyes, realising that his face was pressed against a big, black polyester blanket. This blanket was connected to two arms and two legs that were flailing about underneath him, and a head of soft ginger hair. He then recognised his crash mat as being his very angry boyfriend.

“Get OFF me, you great, fat lump!” Percy raged, his face pressed against the floor. Oliver sighed and conceded, rolling off Percy, who then got to his feet. He stood over Oliver with his hands on his hands, scowling and pursing his lips as if he was doing his best Molly Weasley impression.

“Sorry, Perce.” Oliver chuckled as he also got to his feet, stumbling with the instant pain sprouting in his back and thighs.

“I am  _ not  _ your landing!” Percy scolded, his eyes flashing with irritation.

“I mean, you did say that you would catch me, you little squirt.” Oliver chuckled, throwing an arm around Percy’s shoulders “You were very comfortable anyway.” From the way that Percy shoved his arm back, Oliver could tell that he was a little angry at being beaten down early in the morning, especially when this was meant to be revenge on Oliver. He watched Percy’s retreating back as the Head Boy strode in the direction of the Great Hall, showing almost as much fury as in their common room.

They ate largely in silence over breakfast. On the one hand, Percy wanted to cool himself down so as to not snap at Oliver, especially because he despised fighting with anyone. On the other hand, Oliver was really hungary, and the more talking that was done, the less time for eating there was. He was feeling excited, very excited. Oliver kept looking up towards the windows, noticing how the sky was silver and misty, clouds blocking out any glimmer of sunlight. Towards the end of breakfast, his ears pricked up at the sound 

A flurry of paper filled the room, swooping and sweeping through the tables, whilst owls squawked and dropped packages and letters over the students’ heads. As Percy was sitting the opposite direction to the Slytherin table, he could only just that when he saw the smirk cutting into Oliver’s mouth that their target had received the small red envelope. It was only when Marcus Flint had opened the Howler, that Percy could see any humour in the dare.

_ “HEY FLINT!”  _ Percy’s cheeks began to flush at hearing his own voice. It didn’t sound like his voice at all, because he had shouted in a weird accent, which was good considering he didn’t want people to recognise his voice and think that he fancied Marcus  _ “YOU HAVE NICE ARSE.” _

That’s when the thunderous laughter rippled across the hall. Unable to hold back his laughter, Percy’s head bowed down until it was almost dipping into his plate of toast and sausages, snorting with laughter. He glanced up at Oliver, who snorted into his jumper as he covered his pink nose with the material. Everyone around them was howling with laughter, nudging each other and grinning in the Slytherin’s direction. Everyone was finding it hilarious, except Marcus, of course. Since the note had crumpled itself up and exploded in a litter of ashes and amber sparks, his face had been a mixed expression of confusion, shock and horror. The boy’s face was drained of colour, leaving it a pasty and cream-coloured, his teeth gritted together and clenching. Dropping his knife and fork onto the plate, there was a loud clatter as he then shifted out of the bench and strode out of the Great Hall.

With a loud crash of the double doors at the rear entrance of the hall crashing shut, all the students’ laughter slowly began to fade to a rumble of chatter and giggles.Even Percy tilted his head slightly, his eye swivelling towards the empty seat in the middle of the row.

He looked back at Oliver, who was taking a sip of his drink and trying not to snort and dribble juice everywhere. With a stubborn pout, Percy knew that he had to concede. “Okay,” Percy sighed, gulping as he watched Oliver place the glass down “Okay, that was funnier than I thought it would be…” He rolled his eyes, watching as Oliver smirked again in victory.

“I  _ told  _ you so!” Oliver scoffed, the redness fading slightly from his cheeks “I knew that you would like it? And you thought that it was going to be the end of the world.”

“Well, would you have liked it if there was a rumour spreading round the whole school that your boyfriend fancies your enemy?” Percy cocked one eyebrow up, reaching for another slice of toast from the rack between them. “You would have literally died.”

Oliver rolled his eyes “Oh, yeah...that’s true…”

“Of course it is true. Also, not to mention that it would make me look like a complete...slut...I suppose that is the right word for it...and a cheating one at that.”

“No one will know. The voice sounded so different from anyone we know in the school.”

“I suppose if I had to pick someone who the voice sounded similar to, it would be that boy James O’Flaherty, who is in the year below. Ravenclaw, if I am not mistaken.” Oliver nodded when Percy had suggested that, glancing behind him at the sandy-haired Ravenclaw whom he noticed a couple students were giving some amused stares at.

“At least,” Oliver shrugged “At least you enjoyed today’s dare. I am not sure that you are going to feel the same way about the next ones…” He chortled as Percy’s jaw dropped in horror. As he watched a strawberry-red dusting appear on Percy’s cheeks, his eyes could only flash glints of excitement.

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CURRENT WIP:
> 
> The Two Triangles - Chapter 8/8

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Please comment something nice if you liked this fic :) I thrive off encouragement and support.
> 
> Please check out my other fanfictions.


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